Wednesday, October 16, 2013

2 years 8 months

Where to start? Oldest to newest I think! I made a list of things to tell you about so I wouldn’t forget.
To begin this extra-long post, I had a bit of a rough time at the end of last term, so much so that I was seriously considering quitting the whole course. It wasn't a fear of failure thing; it was a problem with one of my teachers. Said teacher was completely unprofessional and was effecting not just me but a number of my classmates. I decided to talk to the teacher and allow an opportunity to have a conversation about the issues. It went fairly smoothly though I don’t know how much difference it has made. Oddly enough I do not have the marks back from that subject at this point.

Moving on. September 21st my brother, nephew and I went off to the Twilight Bay Run. It was fairly eventful. My brother had an asthma attack, while that was happening my nephew needed to go to the toilet so I took him off to find one (little people can’t wait). After my brother and I caught up to each other again, I was hit with an incredible headache out of nowhere. It felt like I had been hit across the back of the head with a cricket bat. Being the good and responsible person I am, I sat down on the side of the road. My brother got the medics up to check me out, they sent for the event doctor, who called in an ambulance, who then took me to the AED (ED, A&E, ER, or casualty) where I was put in a ‘resus’ room. They sent me off for CT scan thinking that I may have had a brain bleed. The scan came back clean. The doctor wanted to keep me in for 12 hours after ‘the initial incident’ so they could do a lumbar puncture (LP, Spinal tap). I checked myself out as I was feeling better and the scan was clear. I also had a flight booked for 8:15 the following morning.

My flight took me to Melbourne and the wonderful G+ people. Al had organised a photo walk for when I arrived. It was a lovely small group. We didn’t go far (I had a rough night before) but there was more of an opportunity to talk to and get to know better the lovely people I met on the walk. I spent a wonderful week with Al. During the week was the mind blowing beard purpling of +Charles Strebor  See blog post here. I had the opportunity to spend some time with Vikki, Steve, Paul and Christina and felt overwhelmed by their hospitality, the way I was made to feel part of the small circle of friends and the wonderful places we went to see and photograph.

I had another week of holiday and then returned for my final term. I have an amazing Maths teacher; he inspires me and makes maths an exciting and interesting subject. I have another new teacher who is equally brilliant. I am feeling much better with this new round of educators and topics. I am not in a situation now where I want to throw my hands in the air an walk away, I don’t feel as if I don’t belong there either.

October 5 was Scott Kelby’s World Wide Photo Walk. +Lynda Cochrane  , Rachael, +Kim Robertson, my uncle and I joined the walk at Currumbin and made a day of it. There were some beautiful photographs taken there and I am really impressed by Rachael’s Owl photo seen here. I was very unhappy with my efforts from the time during the walk, part of that was my mood affecting my interest levels. We went home via Mt Tamborine and stopped at what has to be one of my favourite chill-out spots. Much happier with the photos I took there. The results of the local walk competition were released and we were very disappointed with the choices made. It would appear they were not made on the basis of photographic excellence. I don’t usually enter photography competitions; they aren’t something I am interested in. I don’t think I will be going on another SKWWPW either. I had wanted to go on one for the last 5 years and was quite let down by this one.

October 11 saw our youngest son head off to his formal (Prom, valedictory dinner) He looked very much grown up in his suit, I might add quite handsome (I am a wee bit based) looking at the photos we took before he left, he is really very tall indeed. I am feeling very short these days.

October 13 saw Kim and I off to the powerhouse to listen three amazing 2013 Queensland Music Award winners tell their stories and play their music. I was very happy to catch up with the ever lovely Ange Takats and hope that it won’t be quite so long before meeting again. To learn more about Ange please go here. She is an amazing woman and blows my mind.

Looking back, I have done a ridiculous amount of fundraising and more since I came home from having my brain surgery. I have in there completed a certificate in business and another in business admin, I am almost finished my uni prep course and looking like I should score very highly across the board with that. All of that sounds wonderful but it has had a tremendous impact on me. I have been pushing myself too hard and I have been doing it for too long. Part of it was because I was trying to prove to myself that I was ‘okay’ now and just like everyone else. Part of it was trying to catch up with all the things I hadn't been able to do for the 8 years I was seriously ill, making up for lost time. Consequently it has taken some time for me to realise I need to slow it down. I'm not running against the clock any more.

'cos the bathroom mirror has not budged
and the woman who lives there can tell
the truth from the stuff that they say
and she looks me in the eye
and says would you prefer the easy way?
no, well o.k. then

I have not been coping with things. I was so busy being ‘better/okay/normal’ that I didn't go and get any counselling post op. It may not sound like much but it is a big deal. Having your life on the line, going for risky surgery, having things go not quite to plan while in there and then the recovery process are all very big things to try and manage. Luckily (or unluckily) I have lived with mental illness before and knew what to look for, I saw the warning signs and I am now getting help to work through these things and get myself back on track. Slowing down this hectic pace will help me to be better able to physically cope.

I hope that you are all well and living life xoxo