Wednesday, December 16, 2015

4 Years 10 months

It is that time again. It seems to have come around a lot sooner than I was expecting!

Today is the anniversary of my Mum's passing. She was a big Christmas nut. Everything Christmas would come out. Decorations, crockery, glasses with little glass markers on them, the big meals to feed a small nation. There was a new Christmas T-shirt and flashing Christmas earrings. It is something I miss but I also have fond memories of all those Christmas's and the time spent with family. I have the remaining decorations that belonged to my Grandma and my Mum, I also have a little box with some of Mum's cute Christmas earrings. This is the second Christmas without my Dad.

This year I think I will haul out those decorations and use them where I can. My husbands family, one of my brothers and his wife will be coming down fir Boxing Day. I will miss them both but I will also be thinking about all the awesome things that we had. It is time to stop obsessing with the part of them not being here and to start remembering the good times as well. I had already started that process with Dad when we bought his house. He died here and was quite ill while he was living here. A cleaned up the mess from his accident but it didn't really impact me. However, I have some great memories of the time spent caring for him and having all those long conversations.

A lot of things have changed and are changing. I applied to return to University and for an internal transfer to another programme. Luckily I was successful and will be studying a Bachelor of Psychological Science starting first semester 2016. This isn't the neuro research path I had initially started on. My plan is to end this with a neuro psych degree. I want to be able to help other families and patients with their struggles through diagnosis, treatment and beyond.

Brain tumours and brain surgery have an impact on people and their lives that is not quite the same as other things. There are funny things that your brain can do that would not make a lot of sense unless you have some 'hands on' experience. One of the things that I experienced and terrified me after surgery was that I could not tell if I was awake, dreaming or possibly hallucinating. It took six months before I let anyone know what was going on because I thought they would thin I was crazy. Not being able to tell the difference does sound pretty odd. This is the kind of thing that can be very hard to discuss if you are not comfortable with the person you are talking to.

I had a new MRI done a couple of weeks ago as follow up fro my little adventure to multiple seizure land. I think it is all ok and that I was just overtired. There has been a mix up with my medication which I think would also have had a pretty big part to play. I have however been feeling pretty rotten the last few days. Migraine like headache that won't shift and some pretty impressive nausea. I don't think it is brain related but it can be a bit scary if you've done the brain tumour road before.

2016 is shaping up to be a big year with lots of celebrations. First cab off the rank is the Tunes for Tumours event raising funds for the Peace of Mind Foundation. Next up is my fantastic husbands 50th birthday. After that the next big thing is our 20th wedding anniversary. I can't wait to see what else 2016 may bring but I am ready to take it on!

Stay safe through this holiday period and most importantly, stay happy and healthy.