Frustration

frus·tra·tion 
/frəˈstrāSHən/
Noun
The feeling of being upset or annoyed, esp. because of inability to change or achieve something.
An event or circumstance that causes one to have such a feeling.
Having knitting patterns, needles and wool and being able to **** every single pattern up.

I re-taught myself to knit and managed to make a brilliant brain hole warmer (see right). I then started and had to unravel many beanies. You see in not too much longer ($160 longer) I will be having my head shaved. It is winter so my head is going to be very cold, cold brain holes HURT… A LOT! So anyway I decided that since I was so very clever as to have knitted this brain hole warmer that I could and would make myself a variety of beanies to keep my bonce toasty. I am currently having fine motor control issues, concentration problems and most importantly double vision. I don’t know what possessed me to think I could manage beanies! 

I went to the optometrist today and he did a lot of test to see if he could find out why I have this double vision issue. Upshot of that was - My eyes are amazing. Not in the way that +Kim Robertson or +Lynda Cochrane have said. The optometrist is amazed that they react the way they do. They are also incredibly light sensitive. He can't fix the double vision with a new pair of glasses.

I've made an appointment with my doctor to see what she thinks before the optometrist has me off to see the neuro-ophthalmologist or back to my neurosurgeon! Back to the optometrist Monday to see what is happening. 

Silly medicos getting wound up because you've had brain surgery.

We will see what my doctor says tomorrow!

I am not particularly bothered really. I'd like to be rid of the double vision which is causing some phenomenal headaches and nausea, but I don't think that neuro-ophthalmologists are needed. 

No point worrying about these things. 

They can be fixed or they can't. 

If they can't - cope.
If they can - get em fixed
Nothing to worry about

I had my self-indulgent cry yesterday. Today I am determined as ever to get through it. I have come this far and survived. I can do this.

Saturday is the world wide 2 year G+ Anniversary photo walk. +Hendrik Ebber and I have organised the walk for Brisbane. I will be there with camera and going to have a wonderful afternoon. 

Right now however I'm going to go and snuggle down in my bed and have a rest while I listen to the rain. I hope you are all happy safe and well.
♥

Ponderings

2 years 4 months and things have been a little crazy. What is new there?

I have completed my first semester of my uni prep course. At this stage I believe I have honours across the board. I have signed up for my 2nd semester classes and am planning those for next year. I am also looking at picking up some work in between time so that too is on the boiler.

2 Years 3 months (early)

Today is Mothers Day. It can be a bit heart wrenching for me as it reminds me that my own mother is gone. It also reminds me that my eldest son and two step daughters will continue to be 'out of contact'. However, my youngest son is here. He tells me every day at least once a day "I love you mum" and I always tell him at least one a day that I love him. They aren't just words. They are heart felt and real. Today is supposed to be a special day for mothers. So many have estranged children,parents etc. If possible, now is an opportunity to break down those communication barriers and start over.

This month has been huge! The coming months are set to be much the same. Some of my brain buddies, my family and I have decided we will either colour or hair purple or shave our heads to raise funds for Cure for Life Foundation. In the last few weeks Charlie Teo has been fairly prominent in the news having announced his 10 year global plan to cure brain cancer. Of course this is a fantastic step forward int the world of brain tumour research. I found it interesting that we formed an international team to raise funds for Cure for Life and  Charlie announced his global plan shortly after.

And now for something completely different!

This is my new project 

We as a group of brain tumour survivors, family, and supporters, spread across the world, will shave our heads or colour them purple (the cure for life foundation colour) together when we reach our goal. We are trying to raise much needed funds for brain tumour research so that one day soon brain tumour and brain cancer patients can be told they have a manageable disease, preferably a cure.

2 years 2 months (late again)

Life is good! I have been having all kinds of fun plotting and planning. I have been doing super secret art projects to be revealed at a MUCH later date. Planning my next international trip to NZ with my friends Alonya and Rick.

The Old Me (Very Long)

For a while after I came home I kept comparing myself to the 'old' me and using it as a measuring stick to where I 'should' be. This morning I started thinking very seriously about it. I haven't really thought about the "old" me and how I 'should' be for quite sometime, pretty much from when I accepted that this is a new me and I'll be the best new me I can be. so I thought I'd post here what I have been thinking about.

Late! 2 years 1 month

I have been completely useless keeping this updated this month.