Last post I left you with a wall of text. This one not so
much
So I’m 3 and a half years post op, so far, so good. There have been some hurdles, bumps in the
road and a bit of cha-cha (two steps forward one step back).
When my Mother passed away I knew it was coming. She had
lung cancer; there is as yet no cure so it was ‘expected’. My Fathers death has affected me far more than
I thought it would. I knew that he probably
would not make it through this winter. Living with him three days a week made
it more and more apparent. I was aware it was a very real possibility but I was
not prepared for him to go so suddenly and certainly not the way it happened.
Thinking about it logically, it makes more sense to me now why it has hit so
hard.
In 2007, the year my Mother passed away, I was spending weeks at a time with
them taking care of them both. He had a lung infection and she was having
chemo, she couldn't afford to get his lung infection and he couldn't do much himself. It was things like cleaning,
cooking, helping my mother shower, drying her and shaving those three hairs on
her legs.
When she went to hospital and then slipped into a coma, my youngest brother and
I took shifts sitting with Mum and Dad so dad could get some sleep. I sat with
Dad and helped him make the decision to let her go and sat holding their hands
as she passed. That was 2 weeks before Christmas 2007.
Dad came home from the hospital and lived with us for 18
months. He bought a house after the first year but took six months for him to
move into it because he was moving in without Mum. While he was moving in I was
helping to unpack boxes. There were ‘landmines’ everywhere. The landmines were
mums things. They had sold their house and put everything in storage for when
they bought a new house together. Each box was peppered with things that
belonged to mum. There are still piles of boxes as yet unopened or half
unpacked and put back.
Dad would come around every day. It was for a cup of tea or
a trip to the shop. We had ‘family night’ when Dad would come for dinner. If I
hadn’t heard from him in 48 hours I would phone him. He would go on trips with
one of his brothers which seemed to cheer him up and breathe some new life into
him.
Anyway, the point is, he was here every day. I saw him every
day. He was a constant in my life. THAT is why it has hit so hard.
I have deferred University until 2015. I cannot think clearly enough to make it
through this semester. I would prefer to put it off and do a better job than
try to struggle through and mess it all up. I still want to be a part of the
research to cure brain tumours. I need to do this. While I am out I will be
tackling some independent study to ‘keep my hand (brain) in’.
I took some time out and went to Melbourne for a few days.
It helped to be away from things for a while. I will be going back mid (ish) September for a week and then on to Sydney for a week. I have booked in for the Sydney
Harbour bridge climb on September 30th. This will be the second of
three bridge climbs I promised myself that I would do.
I have discovered ‘Because I said I would’. I am finding the
promise cards to be very helpful and will be filling out more very soon. This
is where you can find out more about it and start yourself off. because I said I would These are some
of the ones I have filled out so far.
So, at 3 and a half years, I am 2 ½ to 3 years in credit. I
am starting to plan my 4 year Brainaversary. Starting the new year of that
second chance at life with a dawn photo walk seems to the biggest part of the
tradition now. Hooray for a second chance at life.
