Cleaning up

 In an effort to de-clutter I have deleted for evermore my LJ account.

I am currently going through the process of having to document all logins and passwords for.. well everything so removing unnecessary logins and passwords is a good thing :) LJ was double handling and also dealing with people I didn't necessarily need to be involved with any more ... also part of the "de-cluttering"

There is paperwork to do and lists to be made as my life, as it stands, seems to resemble something more like a small collection of words and papers and less the vibrant collection of memories and joy I remember. This is not a process I recommend to the faint of heart or the weak of will. 

6 to go

 Six weeks til operation brain de-pressurisation!

The Amazing Wizard of Oz will be doing open brain surgery to remove the lump which has been intermittently blocking and unblocking the flow of CSF through my brain. Its been doing that in such a way and for long enough that it has distorted my brain and made it asymmetrical. As I have a brain of ultimate trickiness the neat tidy and minimally invasive method of endoscopy is not an option. However I have the most awesome Neurosurgeon on the planet tinkering with my brain so if he says open brain surgery is the most comfortable way for him to go with this I am not going to argue!

A friend of mine has offered to help me document this whole process. Quite a big deal really. I have the words stuck in my head and have trouble getting them out. sometimes it feels like as soon as I have an original thought it is snatched away from me as soon as I start to write, type or speak it. I also feel a lot of the time like someone stole my vocab and left me with a year 5 or 6 vocab. I KNOW I know more words than this... but I can access them.. someone locked the files. Its very frustrating. So this process of documenting could be a very big challenge for both of us. Me trying to get it out and her trying to interpret it and make it sound intelligent and beautiful. Ah well it is a challenge :)

Either way this is a journey and certainly not one that is going to be easy. Good thing I'm not afraid of hard work. Thank you to my friends who are still here with me, the new ones and the old ones. So many have left out of fear. I can't thank my family enough for the trials and the challenges they have face up to this point and the ones they will no doubt face in the future.